my friend just came out to me!

So, I’ve already posted today, but I just received some news that just makes my heart melt. I’ve been in my school for 4+ years now, and that’s a record for me since before I used to move around a lot so I never really stayed anywhere longer than 4 years, and I’ve known my friend, we’ll call her Meg, since I came to this school. For the first year we talked, and then the second we barely looked at one another (we had no lessons together), but the last two years we were in the same Art set, and we became really close friends. She was the first girl I came out to last year and we both agree that it made our friendship stronger afterwards. Anyway, today we were just walking and talking when she was telling me about all kinds of things I never knew about her, mainly focused around her family, and then we reached her boarding house and we just stayed outside in the cold, still talking. She had already told me so much she doesn’t like to tell people, and we finally stopped talking. I had a haircut to get to, but she said she wanted to tell me something, but also felt she couldn’t. Randomly, as you do, I simply said, “You’re bisexual?” I don’t know why, because she’d never really stricken me as not straight, but then she nodded and something inside me just burst. I was so happy, and I don’t know why. I don’t want people thinking that I want everyone to be gay or just not hetero, because that’s not true. I believe that the main reason this really struck a chord with me is that there are only two other LGBTQ kids in my year (excluding Meg) and neither are really my friends, but to now find out that one of my best friends isn’t straight, feels amazing; I finally have someone who can relate.

The weirdest part about this is that she’s known for longer than I have, but isn’t out, and thinking back I feel like I should feel hurt that she didn’t come out to me last year when I did, but I guess it doesn’t matter because honestly right now I don’t care. I just feel bad though because I don’t believe she’s ashamed or afraid about her sexuality but she can’t come out fully because she doesn’t believe her parents will accept it, and she may be right. I do hope she’ll have the courage in the future to be able to fully be herself, but until then I have my very own B.B.F (Bisexual Best Friend) whom I’m very proud of!

That last part was a joke, please don’t take offence in it, no one should be objectified by their sexuality or any other feature whether it be mental or physical.

Love, John.

P.S. Apologies for the flag, I had to make one and I’m pretty sure the colours are completely off, but I tried my best…

my coming out pt.2

So just over 4 months ago I, John the (now) openly gay teenager, started this blog having finally accepted my sexuality. Wanting to scream to the world about my new self, I started writing a blog talking about it and my life. My second ever post that I made was titled “my coming out“, and in it I talked briefly about how I had started coming out to myself and my friends, but was unable to say anymore because there was nothing more to say since it had only been a few weeks. If you’ve read my other posts recently, then you will know that just over a month ago I outed myself through and Instagram post to all my friends and family. Right now I want to talk about my experience in order so that those still in the closet can find some comfort. This is in no way a justification that coming out is the best thing to do for everyone, because different people are brought up in different communities and with different beliefs. For me I was lucky and privileged to have been brought up in a community that it mostly accepting of gay people and in my past experience I really enjoyed being able to read about others coming out, because in my opinion it is truly a happy moment when one can finally accept themselves for who they are and those around them can do the same.

I previously talked about coming out to my friends and by the end of January, I had set myself a personal challenge of coming out to at least a person a day (keep in mind that my school has around 150 students per year). By doing this, I had finally accomplished being able to say “I am gay” in one quick easy sentence. No straining nor hesitation in saying the word “gay”. Now by the end of February I had come out to all of my friends and if I’m being perfectly honest, I was becoming happier. There was no longer awkward talks about “hot girls” and I was getting closer to a lot of my friends. I’m not exactly sure what took me over on the second of March in the year 2019. I was possibly on a happiness high, but I was sitting behind my computer watching youtube videos when I had the sudden craving to use Instagram. I had an account, but never posted anything. In my mind it was somewhat symbolic: a first post starting a new chapter in my life. So I did it, I thought about the right way to do it for 40 minutes and finally stuck to a completely random photo with a caption saying that I was no longer in the closet. Honestly, you’d be surprised how many followers you can gain in one day when you’re the first to publicly come out in your year.

In the end, everyone was incredibly supportive and my own aunt beat me to the chase of coming out to my parents 😂. This was an amazing experience for me and I don’t regret it, but that doesn’t mean it’s safe and brilliant for everyone to do so. I read this in another posting, I forget its name, but only you know when it’s safe and okay for you to come out, no one else can make that decision for you and you cannot take someone else’s story as incentive for you to do it yourself. Trust me when I say this though, you will know when the time is right 😁

a whole month

If you haven’t read my previous blog posts then let me introduce myself: my name is John and I am a fifteen-year-old gay boy. To those few who had read my previous blog posts, I am sorry for being gone for so long.

Quick recap to those new to this blog and a refresher to those who have read previous posts; in October last year, I finally accepted all of the signs that had been pointing out that I was a homosexual and came out to myself. From there in the next month I began to come out to my close friends, and began writing a blog in order to release all of my inner turmoils. By the end of my first term of school this academic year, I stopped writing.

The reason for my return now, is that it’s been over a whole month since I officially came out to the world and it’s been a really pleasant experience luckily. Having discovered my homosexuality, I had gone on a spree finding out about everything there is to know about the LGBTQ community (not that I know that much now, I’m pretty lousy at remembering things) and one of the largest things that scared me about being gay was coming out to my friends and especially my family. I had read so many accounts of parents neglecting, ignoring and even kicking out their children who have come out as gay. I am lucky enough to have been brought up in communities where this is not the case, but it didn’t mean I wasn’t scared of how my parents might react. During my childhood, I had never really been exposed to any gay culture, basically I had never met anyone who was openly gay and whenever the conversation of homosexuality was brought up, it was quickly shot down by either of my parents. Upon questioning them on why this was, my mother told me that my father simply couldn’t understand how one man could sexually desire another man and he just didn’t like talking about it, though he would not hate me nor my siblings should we have come out as gay in the future, it would just take some adjusting. I was told this when I was seven years old, and right up until by public coming out, it had been one of the main factors that I didn’t want to come out. Having been out to my family now for just over a month, I realise that there was no reason to be scared, because he is in fact very supportive and completely casual when we discuss the topic. The shocking part for me was finding that I had maybe mixed up the signs that my parents had been giving me, because lately my mother has been acting kind of strange and almost homophobically around me. I don’t mean to say that she is a homophobe, but it’s small things that I catch during our interactions privately and publicly. For example, upon returning home for the easter break, I had decided to wear a simple wire ring on my index finger. I don’t know why I did it, I simply felt an urge to wear some sort of jewelry. My mother’s weird reaction actually caught me off guard, “Why are you wearing a ring?” I know from reading this off of a screen on your device this doesn’t sound terribly shocking and it isn’t really, but the snide and almost mean tone she took whilst saying it was giving across another message, “Boys don’t wear rings, take it off.” There are also other small things like casually flinging around the word “gay” as something weird or odd and even calling things I say “gaybles”. I have no idea what that’s supposed to mean, I think that maybe it’s information shared between gays, but it’s not really nice to hear from her and there is only one other openly gay boy in my year at school that I could possibly confer secret information and tips with, but we don’t really talk anyway.

Other than my mother’s surprising change in attitude towards me, my coming out has made me happier and I’m not even being bullied or teased by other boys, which was a pleasant surprise unlike the first.

I’m really hope that this was somewhat entertaining or nice to read about; it doesn’t matter whether you only read this because you were bored, it’s nice to know that I can share my stories with everybody in the world (or at least those that have access to a computer). Please contact me or leave a comment for any feedback or suggestions on future topics for blogs and remember to follow me on WordPress and Instagram @anothernormalboy. Also, tag anything you feel is related to me or my life or sexuality with #anothernormalboy.

my coming out

HOMOPHOBES BEWARE : GAY CONTENT

I’ve recently taken one of my first steps to take control of my life. I came out to my closest friends that I’m gay and I’d like to share my feelings on the topic of coming out and why it isn’t something you should be scared of doing, however, in some cases, should be done with some caution as not everyone will be as accepting.

“A friend is someone who gives you total freedom to be yourself” – Jim Morrison

The first person I told is my closest friend and roommate, Paul. I think that the first step to coming out is to be completely honest with your most trusted friend in your life, whether this is a family member or friend. This is a crucial first step to coming out as it makes it easier to be able to say it to more people. Personally, I had quite a bit of trouble actually saying the word, “gay”. And was stuck saying, “I’m …” a few times before managing to get it out. This isn’t always so simple though as to some it can be thought of as a lie or plea for attention, and then it is confirming it with all honesty that can be very hard especially when you could easily say you weren’t being serious and become stuck in the closet yet again.

Upon telling the first person, it becomes easier to tell the other significant people in your life, for me this was by telling Liam and Jessica. This can be done anywhere, I found that it was easier to say when we were alone. And in my opinion, I should be told in person as it is a large step in embracing the new and better (cringe, I know) person you become.

The Next Step

I can’t say much more about the topic yet, as I still have to do so much more to complete, in my own coming out experience. This will probably be telling all my friends gradually and finally, once I summoned up as much courage as I possibly can, my family.

Please tell me about your own coming out experiences (if you aren’t straight), if you feel like it would help you as I always find that it is easier to deal with something when you have someone to tell and talk to about it. Thank you for reading my blog and be sure to share it with friends or family.

the beginning

Recently I’ve discovered a whole new part of me, and though I am camera shy, I’m not afraid to share this new and confusing side of me with the world.

A good beginning makes a good end. — Louis L’Amour

An Introduction

As a starter, I would like to inform all readers that this will be an anonymous blog, my name and my friends’ names will be changed, for safety and privacy reasons.

My name is John, I am 15 years old and am currently in school in England. My family consists of six members: me, my parents, two siblings and a dog. I have quite a few friends who are great and fun, however, am not one of the “cool kids”, and until recently was quite reclusive and shy.

A Revelation

About a month ago, I was watching a Netflix movie called, “Alex Strangelove.” It is the story about a high school senior who plans on losing his virginity to his girlfriend but finds himself oddly uninterested and afraid of the event. Furthermore, he meets an openly gay young man from the other side of town. Between the two events, he finds himself on a rollercoaster of mixed emotions about his sexual identity.

By the end of the movie, I found myself sick in the stomach due to a mix and brutal bashing of my emotions. Later that night I was crying, but from joy and it was relieving to release the complex emotions that disrupted my insides. Through a series of events including the discovery of Tom Daley, a British Olympic diver, being gay and happily married to Lance Black and re-watching “Love, Simon”, I finally accepted the fact, which had been lurking in my mind for 2 years, I was bisexual! Well, not really. That was what I tried to convince myself for the next week, however, I have now for two weeks finally accepted that I wasn’t even attracted to women, but simply only men.

So Far

I have come out to a select few of my closest friends, who have all been completely normal about it and I don’t know what I was even worrying about upon my newfound sexuality. I still have to come out to my family but I think that will have to wait until quite a bit into the future, preferably once I’m sixteen and stress levels about current events in the family come down.

I really hope that this has been enjoying to read, it has been a nice method of release for me, and I will be writing more about my daily life, its events and perhaps other things that anyone can suggest through commenting it or emailing me. Also if anyone has any questions or feedback, please do tell me.