crushes and school – gay teen

So I wrote briefly about me starting A-levels this year and I cannot really remember what I said, probably something along the lines of, “EVERYTHING WE WERE TAUGHT LAST YEAR WERE LIES!!!” which still remains true, but then there’s also my stupid ass being dragged along the flow of theses new fast-paced lessons, drowning in the workload, and findng that most of what comes in one ear leaves the other. Yay. In case you couldn’t tell I just had a math test on the first textbook that we had to finish in 6 weeks and I realised a little too late that I was severly under-knowledged on basically everything, because I had to write an essay last night on bloody Van Arkel Triangles so had no time to revise the topics!

Okay – rant over (mostly) – I think I’ll just talk about boys for now instead of thinking about how school sucks and I have a double chemistry lesson in 10 minutes… I had a crush on a new boy that joined my school in the beginning of the academic year (so around Sept.), mainly because he was fresh meat and decent looking. 10 weeks later and I actually can’t stand him. He dropped math sets with me and initially I was thrilled because I still had a crush on him but then I got to know him a bit better, and he’s so annoying and immature and basically super stupid (the one thing we share in common).

Wow, this was a weird post, I can totally understand if you’re not impressed by the lacking in quality today but I will try to make it up to you next time, if you decide to come back… Anyway, thanks for reading 🙂

Love, John.

kissing boys

– QUICK DISCLAIMER: John has never kissed anyone, boy or girl (before he knew). This post should not be taken as an accurate description of what a kiss is but merely a simple yet effective method that John uses to vent his pent-up emotions and fantasies (don’t be dirty…) –

Before I start this post, I’d like to say that I have already written this post before, but it disappeared without a trace 😦 I believe that I lost quite a bit of good material, however I will take it as a sign from the universe not to go off on a tangent about legal sex ages and average loss of virginity ages in the UK.

Now, as another normal boy, I spend my fair share of time imagining situations both sexual and mild. The trade-off between me and others is most likely the difference in the gender of the person I imagine doing these things with. I am no closer to getting a boyfriend than even before I realised I was gay, and currently, I don’t know how I feel about that; I guess I just feel unlucky that there doesn’t seem to be a larger range of people in my school who’d be interested in dating me and vice versa. This doesn’t stop me from imagining my first kiss with Mr Right. I watch a lot of movies, but I’m not a sucker, very few actually give an accurate depiction of what a first kiss is like: weird, uncomfortable and probably awkward. I typically like to imagine kisses in a relationship which, I would hope, would be less messy and more romantic and nice. For example, a kiss in the morning when you first see each other, small, simple but probably amazing or a kiss before some other activities in the bedroom, like jumping on the bed and playing Jenga on a mattress 😉 these kisses would be energetic, full and powerful. Honestly, most of the time I don’t really care how good a kiss is, but rather just hope that I get a boyfriend soon because sometimes I am lonely, and sadly that is because I’m gay. I’m not saying that it is super easy for straight people to find a partner but it’s definitely easier than for non-heterosexuals, especially in boarding schools where we can’t really use devices like dating apps, which as I gather would be the easiest way to find a partner, though isn’t particularly the way I’d like to meet the love of my life.

Anyway, this was a pretty random post but I hope you enjoyed it. Please make sure to share this with others if you feel like it.

Love, John.

i can’t believe it’s been a year

Hi guys, I’m back, for now. I started this blog last December, almost a year ago as a form of self expression at a time I felt I was unable to truly be myself around most the people in my life. Whether you’ve read from this blog before or not, I am an openly gay teen (16) and here I go by the name John. Anyway, this blog was a means of sharing my feelings with anyone when I couldn’t with those I knew personally, but things have changed since. I initially came out to my friends and then the world 8 months ago! I can’t believe it’s been so long, but something else is the reason I am here today right now.

Today, last year I finally accepted that I was gay, and I am absolutely astonished how much has changed in my life and my views on the world. In the past year, though not by much, I managed to crawl out of the lonely dark hole I had found comfortable in the past to actually interact with more than a few select friends. I know what I like in a guy (this probably sounds kind of weird, but for a while I was completely lost and had no idea what I was actually physically attracted to in a man). I have way more friends with which I can openly talk to about most stuff, like boys 😉 Everyone in my year knows who I am (also kind of a weird one) and finally, obviously, I am a thristy bitch looking for a boyfriend. So yeah basically, I kind of consider myself normal for the first time in forever.

Anyway, I’ve lost the plot on what I wanted to say, but basically I’m in one of my highs in my constant swinging moods and I wanted to share that and if anything can be taken from this, it’s that things do get better, you just have to give it time, so stop being so impatient! All jokes aside, I am really happy with who I am and being gay is as amazing as ever.

I hope you’re having a great day or will have a great day!

Love, John.

P.S. make sure to share this with anyone you please and comment on what you might like to read about in the future